This wellness retreat encourages black women to embrace their “unruliness”—that’s how it was

Driving along Highway 288, the rhythm of the city and the chaos of the roads interrupted what I hoped would be a peaceful harbinger. wellness vacation my partner and I were heading to. The cacophony of blaring horns and sharp bumps from the inevitable potholes made me deeply regret my decision to embark on this journey during Houston’s relentless rush hour. But as we made our way down the interstate a little and the familiar horizon began to shrink in my rearview mirror, I felt a change.

The tension in my shoulders—that constant burden of deadlines and decisions waiting to come home—started to ease. I set a quiet intention for the Unruly Wellness Retreat: just to let go for a while of the demands that always seem to be left behind. With every mile, the sounds and stresses of the city faded away, replaced by a growing sense of calm.

We drove 30 miles outside of Houston, where we were greeted by serenity as we wound along a windy, wooded road on The Woodlands Resort – far from the hustle and bustle of the city. This was my first wellness retreat and I had no idea what to expect, but a quiet place was already a win in my book.

Founded Shela Marie, Unruly Retreat is an extension Lush, curly, conscious community and curated as a safe space for black women. Over the next three days, this cocoon became a sacred space where we could open up, exhale—literally and figuratively—and free ourselves from the representatives and glorified masks put on for the comfort of others.

Upon arrival, we checked into the sprawling resort and hurried to our room to drop off our bags before rushing off to the welcome lunch. The transportation in Houston was not kind to us and we were behind schedule. But none of that mattered when we entered the attractive dining room with about 30 other women.

The hosts handed out icebreaker cards, but they were not needed. Conversation flowed easily and there was a unique sense of openness around our table. There was no luck and no judgment, a theme that echoed throughout the retreat.

“Being ‘unruly’ means embracing all aspects of who you are, not just the ones we’re good at,” Marie said as we dove into our session the next morning. This workshop was created to help us explore and communicate with different versions of ourselves—our own “inner ensemble,” if you will. Goal? Recognize each member of this inner group and guide them to their highest potential.

“What would your preferred version look like?” This is a question that Marie made us not only think about, but also make this vision come true. I would have happily walked barefoot across Lego to avoid the limelight, but watching the women in front of me—turning the room into their own personal runway, each striding confidently, showing their greatest strength—stirred something inside me. Their courage was contagious, and before I knew it, I found myself ready to join them in taking those first steps toward the version of myself I had only imagined.

The day alternated between meditative moments, journaling, and exercises that encouraged us to talk openly about the false beliefs and societal pressures that have shaped—and sometimes distorted—our sense of self. Throughout the room, soul-stirring stories echoed the themes of grief, “superwoman syndrome,” strained relationships, and lingering resentment. But the thread that bound us all together was a familiar pain: the feeling that we are everything to everyone, but somehow never enough for ourselves. As a person in recovery, this truth hit home especially close to him. In this shared vulnerability, I realized that I was not alone—we were all here to reclaim the parts of ourselves that had been given away for far too long.

After a full day of interactive classes and workshops, it was finally time to relax with a margarita and guacamole competition. We split into teams to test our mixing and pureeing skills. I was sure. After all, I make guacamole every week and I lived in Mexico for a while. Victory was certain. Spoiler alert: we didn’t win. But even without the crown, it was the perfect, carefree way to end the day.

The clock read 5:47 a.m.—so much for sleep. Our morning yoga class wasn’t until 7:00am, but even with the early wake-up call I stayed cocooned in bed, holding out until 6:45am finally got me moving. Outside, a thick fog hung over the grounds, and the clear (at 65 degrees) morning air was a welcome respite from the usual Texas heat. We gathered on the deck overlooking the pond and as we moved through each pose, the peace of nature washed over me, grounding me in the moment. It was the kind of morning that made me breathe a little deeper and linger a little longer in gratitude.

Another half-day of workshops and reflections began before we broke for some well-deserved free time. Many of us gathered by the pool, soaked up the sun and laughed as we let the day’s insights settle. As evening drew in, we reconvened for a lively country-themed dinner and after-party where we danced the night away non-stop, in an air filled with pure, undying joy and camaraderie. It was the perfect way to relax and celebrate our experiences together, create memories and strengthen a sisterhood that will last long after the retreat is over.

While most of Unruly Retreat was full of fun and laughter, parts of it were definitely heavy, full of raw, unfiltered emotion. People opened up, sifting through feelings they had long buried, sharing pieces of their stories that rarely saw the light of day. It was a space of giving and receiving, where we poured into each other as much as they poured into us. The tears flowed freely—sometimes silently, sometimes with a chorus of comforting words—each one a release, a softening, a step closer to healing.

For me, the retreat confirmed how far I had come in my own healing journey. I felt both grounded in my progress and inspired to continue, knowing that healing is never linear but always powerful when shared.